Kellie & Phil Go To The Movies – Watchmen

10 Mar

My round, yellow coaster came in very handy

My round, yellow coaster came in very handy

At 3:32 Friday morning as we stepped into the house, turning on the kitchen lights, pulling off our masks and loosening our costumes, Kellie turned to me and asked, “So, you’re going to write about this tomorrow, right? Like last time?”

At first I thought, ‘well, my friends won’t need a revue by me to help them decide whether to see Watchmen or not; they’re either going to, or they aren’t”. But I had so much fun going to see One Week, and even more writing to all of you about it, how could I not share our most recent cinematic escapades with you all?

On Monday last, Kellie picked up tickets to our local theater’s midnight showing of Watchmen. On Thursday night, as we were lazily wasting time beforehand, we found out the local comic book store was sponsoring a costume contest. We started joking about who we could dress up as if we had the time.

The house was entirely devoid of blue paint; Dr. Manhattan was ruled out. We have no see-through vinyl; the Silk Spectre was ruled out. Due to a complete lack of planning all of Kellie’s body armour is in Pembrooke (this was an interesting fact to discover about my girlfriend, I can tell you); the Comedian was ruled out. But we had more than enough hats and trench-coats… all we needed were masks and we could both go as Rorschach, the gruff, ultra-violent anti-hero.

Wasting no time, we immediately sprang into action! A white T-shirt was senselessly cannibalized! Markers were poured across the living room floor! Colouring took place at a furious pace! My incredibly convenient yellow, circular rubber coaster was transformed into a bloodied smiley face badge! We barely finished our costumes in time to leave, pulling them on even as we locked the front door behind us. A block from the cinema we stopped in a dark doorway, giggling like schoolchildren as we pulled our masks over our faces.

We straightened our own scarves and each others’ hats. Stifling our giggles, we agreed to use only gruff, raspy Rorschach voices until we reached our seats and the lights went out. We walked to the theatre and took our place at the end of the line. Using our Rorschach voices, we planned out that I would go save seats and she would grab concessions.

Watchmen 2While we stood outside waiting, the staff took turns fetching each other to come look at us; every few minutes a new uniformed Cineplex employee would be brought to the glass by another grinning employee. He would grow the same grin, and rush off, bringing someone new back, and so on. This went on for 45 minutes.

Then suddenly, the doors opened and we were separated in the flood of ticketholders. I made straight for the theatre; no one was taking Rorschachses(s?) seats! A small ripple went through the theatre as I walked in, masked and made my way to the only seats available, a few rows back from the front. After 5 or 10 minutes, I saw Kellie enter the back of the theatre, popcorn in one hand and drink in the other, so I stood up and waved and yelled (still in my gruff Rorschach voice), “Hey! We’re over here!”

From my vantage point at the front of the cinema, I watched every conversation in the room stop, and every head turn to look towards me.

And then Kellie yelled back. Again I watched every head in the room turn to the left to watch her walk down the stairs to the front of the theatre. Then, as if doubting their eyes, they all turned to look at me once more, and then back to her before the entire theatre devolved into laughter.

By the time Kellie reached our row, the people between her and I were so surprised at what was happening that they didn’t move to let her through; they were just too stunned. So Kellie and I began loudly threatening bodily harm (again, in character). They all hastily scrabbled out of her way! By now the entire theatre had devolved into maniacal laughter, unable to believe what was going on. Kellie plopped down next to me. I could tell she was grinning under her mask, too.

10 or 15 minutes later the owner of the local comic books store arrived to officiate the costume contest; by then we’d taken our masks off and were eating popcorn. In the end only one other person had dressed up at all; a girl sitting behind us dressed up as the original Silk Spectre, complete with a 40s hairdo! Comic Book Guy tossed her a Silk Spectre action figure. And then, holding aloft a Rorschach figurine he said, “And didn’t I see a pair of Rorschaches earlier?”

To a man, the entire theatre turned and pointed directly at us and all started yelling, “Them ! There! Those guys!” Before again erupting into laughter!

And that’s how Kellie and I won the Watchmen Costume Competition. πŸ™‚

Rorschach masturbating?

Rorschach masturbating?

As for the movie itself, having read Watchmen, we both enjoyed the film. I’m not sure that having read the phenomenal graphic novel by comic legend Allan Moore is necessarily a prerequisite for enjoying the film, but… let me explain it thus:

Several years ago I found myself in London, England with a spare night on my hands, so I got dressed up real swanky and took myself out to see Les Miserables. I got a last minute ticket by myself in the top-most balcony in the very top row next to three pretty American girl who were all in jeans. After 20 minutes I burst into tears (I had REALLY long hair and was terribly shy back then, so I let my hair down and hid) and cried on and off through the rest of the performance (taking a short break for intermission, of course).

You see, I had just finished reading the book a few months before and had been touched incredibly. It’s my absolute favourite book. Watching the characters come to life on stage, knowing which ones would live and die, who would fall in love, I got to love them all over again in a new way. I enjoyed Watchmen the same way. Except for the sex and violence.

Kellie and I both agreed the sex and violence made the film hard to watch at times. The comic didn’t rub your face in either the way the film does. In the comic it always felt like the violence was looming just around the corner. It played intelligently, and well, on your fears. When it happened it was always brutal and quick, but you were left thinking, “thank god that’s all he did to that poor fellow!”.

The movie lost that subtlety and busied itself in trying to demonstrate to the audience just how violent it could be. For example, just because Dr Manhattan can explode people with a wave of his hand does not mean that I should have to watch their gizzards dripping off the ceiling in slow motion onto their screaming loved ones.

Quod erat demonstrandum.

And, since I wrapped up the last note with a badass fact about myself (Polkaroo!), I think I’ll end in the same vein by announcing that I’ve been hit by lightning. HA!

MWAH ! We love you all ! πŸ™‚

Seeing double!

Seeing double!

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Posted by on March 10, 2009 in Movies


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